YOUR REACTIVENESS IS PROOF THERE’S A SKILL YOU LACK

A lot of the times when we have a large emotional reaction to something, it’s because we lack a skill and substitute it with acting out in hopes of getting somebody else to react in the way we want. So if you want others to respond to you in the way you truly desire, look for what skill you might be missing that your reactiveness is trying to fill.

To cry when someone steps over a boundary of yours shows you lack the ability to communicate your needs.
To shutdown when someone gives you feedback on your performance shows you lack the ability to handle criticism.
To get defensive when someone confronts you shows you lack the ability to hear other people out.

The more skills you develop for coping with uncomfortable situations, the easier handling hardship will become. Emotional maturity is recognizing that the problem isn’t external, but rather internally with the skills we lack in which we substitute with being reactive.